[PRO WRESTLING NOVA: EPISODE 101: AIRED AUGUST 25, 2011]

[Start opening animation]

Announcer: From Studio 37 at Universal Studios Hollywood, this is Pro Wrestling NOVA! And here are your hosts Parker Posey and Renee O'Connor!

[Fade to the studio]

Parker Posey: Hello everyone, and welcome to Pro Wrestling NOVA. I'm Parker Posey and with me is...Renee O'Connor...what are you wearing?
Renee O'Connor: Huh?
PP: You look like you went back in time and had the entire 1980's explode all over your jacket!
ROC: You like?
PP: God, No! That is gawd-awfulest thing I've ever seen in my life. And what is up with those glasses? Can you even see out of them?
ROC: Of course I can see!
PP: You need them with all that color coming out at you. I don't think even Cyndi Lauper would wear that!
ROC: You know, Cyndi Lauper is the one that actually stole my style.
PP: Really?
ROC: It's true! She was performing a concert back in Houston, and I was sitting front row...you know...dancing to Girls Wanna Have Fun...when she comes up to me, and says I have got to have your style!
PP: That's ridiculous!
ROC: True story. That's why I'm a trendsetter!
PP: I don't believe you one bit. Anyway, we have an action packed program for you here tonight with Lacey Chabert making an appearance as well as Victoria Justice and Ariana Grande...
ROC: Known as Grand Justice...
PP: That's right. They will be in our feature match. Also we have Kaley Cuoco, Lindsey Shaw, Sarah Carter...
ROC: Who?
PP: Sarah Carter.
ROC: Who's that?
PP: She's in Falling Skies.
ROC: What's that?
PP: It's a show on TNT about aliens.
ROC: I was in a movie once about aliens.
PP: Really?
ROC: Yeah, Alien Apocalypse.
PP: Is that supposed to be some sort of plug?
ROC: No, I'm just saying, I was in a movie about aliens. I killed a bunch of them then sent the rest back home to Mexico City where they belong. BUH HA HA HA!
PP: Would you stop? That was uncalled for!
ROC: Tossed them right over the fence.
PP: Also tonight we have our feature match between Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato taking on The Wildcats: Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale.
ROC: I will tell you something. These two teams do not like each other. I was speaking to Demi not too long ago...
PP: Oh, really? When was this?
ROC: Don't you listen? I said not too long ago.
PP: Why would anyone want to talk to you?
ROC: Are you going to let me finish?
PP: Do I have a choice?
ROC: No.
PP (sits back in her chair): Go on.
ROC: As I was saying, I was talking to Demi Moore not too long ago...
PP: Lovato.
ROC: What?
PP: Demi Lovato.
ROC: Who's that?
PP (Sighs): Let's go to the ring with our first contest Kirsten Storms taking on Lacey Chabert...
ROC: Who's Demi Lovato?

MATCH #1: STORMS VS. CHABERT
MATCH NOTES: None

Conclusion:
Lacey Chabert runs into the ropes.
Kirsten Storms executes the Sitout Chokeslam on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms goes for the pin.
Helen Hunt counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Kirsten Storms puts Lacey Chabert in a bearhug.
Lacey Chabert manages to grab the ropes after 8 seconds.
Kirsten Storms catches Lacey Chabert in a choke lift.
Helen Hunt warns Kirsten Storms to let go.
Helen Hunt counts: One, two, three.
Kirsten Storms hits a slap on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms runs into the ropes.
Kirsten Storms hits Lacey Chabert with a shoulderblock.
Kirsten Storms goes for a headbutt, but Lacey Chabert blocks it.
Lacey Chabert takes Kirsten Storms down with a jab.
Lacey Chabert goes for a jab, but Kirsten Storms blocks it.
Kirsten Storms takes Lacey Chabert down with a bodyslam.
Kirsten Storms hits a knee to the back on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms goes for a choke lift, but Lacey Chabert counters it with
a facerake.
Lacey Chabert goes for a kick to the midsection, but Kirsten Storms blocks it.
Kirsten Storms goes for a kick to the head, but Lacey Chabert blocks it.
Lacey Chabert goes for a kick to the midsection, but Kirsten Storms blocks it.
Kirsten Storms goes for a hiptoss, but Lacey Chabert counters it with a lariat.
The crowd is cheering on Lacey Chabert.
Lacey Chabert gives her a chokehold, but Kirsten Storms doesn't budge.
Kirsten Storms takes Lacey Chabert down with a vertical suplex.
Kirsten Storms executes a slap on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms nails Lacey Chabert with a bodyslam.
Kirsten Storms hits a bodyslam on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms hits a choke slam on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms uses a slap on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms uses a kick to the head on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms throws Lacey Chabert into the turnbuckle.
Kirsten Storms charges into the corner.
Kirsten Storms goes for a bodyslam, but Lacey Chabert counters it with
a small package.
Helen Hunt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Lacey Chabert complains about a slow count.
Kirsten Storms takes Lacey Chabert down with an inside cradle.
Helen Hunt counts: One, two, thr... kickout.
Kirsten Storms hits Lacey Chabert with a short clothesline.
A few fans are cheering on Kirsten Storms.
Kirsten Storms whips Lacey Chabert into the turnbuckle.
Kirsten Storms charges into the corner.
Kirsten Storms locks Lacey Chabert in a clawhold.
Lacey Chabert tries to escape the hold.
Lacey Chabert manages to grab the ropes after being trapped for 17 seconds.
Kirsten Storms gives the sign for the Sitout Chokeslam.
Kirsten Storms executes the Sitout Chokeslam on Lacey Chabert.
Kirsten Storms goes for the pin.
Helen Hunt counts: One, two, three.
The crowd is cheering on Kirsten Storms.

The winner is Kirsten Storms. Time of match: 0:05:19

[The camera zooms out from the HD monitor behind our hosts. ROC is reading a paper.]

PP: Big victory to start things off...what are you doing?
ROC: I'm reading the paper.
PP: Weren't you paying attention to the match?
ROC: No. Why should I?
PP: By the looks of things, Kirsten Storms could be one of the top contenders to the World Title.
ROC: So?
PP: You have no clue what's going on, do you?
ROC: Of course I do.
PP: How can you when you're reading the paper? Do you even know how to read?
ROC: I do! Here, let me read you my horoscope!
PP: Your horoscope?
ROC: Yes, it says "You will be sitting with a dim-witted buffoon for the next two hours."
PP: Are you sure that's not my horoscope?
ROC: What? You don't believe me?
PP: No.
ROC: You wanna read it for yourself?
PP: As a matter of fact, I do!
ROC: Well...well...you can't!
PP (taking paper away from Renee): Give me that! (Parker looks through the paper for a moment. Then finally...) You wrote this in yourself! And it's not even the horoscopes! It's Garfield!
ROC: Well, Garfield knows what he's talking about!
PP: Let's go back to the ring. Larisa Oleynik and Alyson Michalka going one-on-one!
ROC: That's one smart cat!

MATCH #2: OLEYNIK VS. ALY MICHALKA
Match Notes: Alyson Michalka is accompanied to the ring by Amanda Michalka

Conclusion:
Larisa Oleynik throws Alyson Michalka out of the ring.
Larisa Oleynik goes through the ropes.
Larisa Oleynik nails Alyson Michalka with a clothesline.
Larisa Oleynik threatens Amanda Michalka.
Larisa Oleynik gets back into the ring.
Alyson Michalka follows her back in.
Larisa Oleynik goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Alyson Michalka
counters it with a bulldog.
Alyson Michalka whips Larisa Oleynik into the ropes.
Alyson Michalka hits Larisa Oleynik with a shoulderblock.
Alyson Michalka takes Larisa Oleynik down with a roundhouse right.
Alyson Michalka hits Larisa Oleynik with a forearm to the back.
Alyson Michalka goes for a forearm to the back, but Larisa Oleynik
side-steps and Alyson Michalka only hits air.
Larisa Oleynik gives her a Russian legsweep, but Alyson Michalka
doesn't even care.
Larisa Oleynik hits Alyson Michalka with a clothesline.
Larisa Oleynik is going for the cover.
Stacey Dash counts: One, two, kickout.
Larisa Oleynik hits Alyson Michalka with a flying back elbow.
Larisa Oleynik goes for a gutbuster, but Alyson Michalka blocks it.
Alyson Michalka throws Larisa Oleynik out of the ring.
Amanda Michalka hits Larisa Oleynik with a right hand.
Stacey Dash counts: one, two, Larisa Oleynik reenters the ring.
Alyson Michalka goes for a gutbuster, but Larisa Oleynik blocks it.
Larisa Oleynik hits Alyson Michalka with a forearm to the back.
Larisa Oleynik whips Alyson Michalka into the ropes.
Larisa Oleynik takes Alyson Michalka down with a chop.
Larisa Oleynik nails Alyson Michalka with a chop.
Larisa Oleynik gives her a chop, but Alyson Michalka doesn't budge.
Alyson Michalka kicks Larisa Oleynik.
There are lots of chants for Alyson Michalka.
Alyson Michalka chops Larisa Oleynik.
Alyson Michalka has the crowd going wild.
Alyson Michalka hits Larisa Oleynik.
Larisa Oleynik hits Alyson Michalka.
Larisa Oleynik hits Alyson Michalka with a forearm to the back.
Larisa Oleynik runs into the ropes.
Alyson Michalka goes for a tilt-a-whirl side slam, but Larisa Oleynik blocks it.
Larisa Oleynik nails Alyson Michalka with a forearm to the back.
Larisa Oleynik takes Alyson Michalka down with a belly-to-back suplex.
Amanda Michalka jumps on the ring apron.
Stacey Dash warns Amanda Michalka.
Larisa Oleynik uses a back elbow on Alyson Michalka.
Larisa Oleynik whips Alyson Michalka into the ropes but Alyson Michalka reverses it.
Larisa Oleynik crashes into Amanda Michalka.
Alyson Michalka hits Larisa Oleynik with a swinging neckbreaker.
The crowd is going crazy.
Alyson Michalka gives the sign for the Choke Slam.
Alyson Michalka executes the Choke Slam on Larisa Oleynik.
The crowd is behind Alyson Michalka all the way.
Alyson Michalka goes for the pin.
Stacey Dash counts: One, two, three.
The chants for Alyson Michalka are deafening.

The winner is Alyson Michalka. Time of match: 0:13:35

PP: Alyson Michalka picks up the win but not without alot of help from her sister.
ROC (still reading her paper): That's what sisters are for!
PP: They are there to support you, not to interfere in your matches.
ROC: A win is a win. That's all that matters. If that means your sister has to help out, I'm cool with that. That's family!
PP: Do you have any sisters, Renee?
ROC: Why?
PP: I'm curious.
ROC: I...I'm not telling you.
PP: I bet you do. I bet you have sisters who are totally disgusted with you. Just like how I am.
ROC (laying down her paper): What did I do to you?
PP: Well, for starters, you sat down in that seat. We've had two matches, and you have not paid attention to either one of them. You're just sitting there, reading your paper.
ROC: I was too paying attention.
PP: Really?
ROC: Yes.
PP: Then who was the referee of that match?
ROC: ...
PP: See? You have no clue as to what's going on.
ROC: I do too.
PP: Prove it.
ROC: Okay, first, Kirsten Storms beat ummmm....somebody...
PP: I knew it.
ROC: ...and Larisa Oleynik lost her handicap match to Aly and AJ. See, what more do you want?
PP: It wasn't a handicap match.
ROC: Yes it was. After that match Larisa Oleynik was knocked so silly, she has to use a walker just to stand up straight. Get it? Cuz she has to use a handicap tag now? (Renee breaks down laughing.)
PP: Before we get to our next mach, let's go to Danielle Fishel with the NOVA Report.

Danielle Fishel: Hi everyone, I'm Danielle Fishel with this week's NOVA Report. With this being our first time on the air, there's not to talk about actionwise but don't worry! I always have plenty to talk about. I recently caught up with Victoria Justice and Ariana Grande on the set of their show Victorious, and asked them about their thoughts on going from acting to professional wrestling. Here's what they had to say:

Victoria Justice: Wow, I mean, this is huge. Every girl has that dream to be under the lights and star in that hit tv show or movie. I'm actually living that life. Still, I have that fighting spirit inside me. I don't know why. I've never really been in fights before even as a kid. I guess it's just that pent up rage inside of me that wants to get out.
DF: If you could get into a fight with anybody, who would that be?
VJ/Ariana Grande (together): Linsdey Lohan
DF: Wow, you didn't have to think about that for long.
AG: God, she's just so....annoying.
VJ: Maybe if we drew a white line to the NOVA offices, we could get her to sign up!
DF: Wow! Okay then...on a different note...last question: What are your plans for NOVA?
VJ: To be the best.
AG: I've known V for a year now, and she's my best friend now. Wrestling is a sport that many girls take as a personal challenge. Me, I couldn't do it without V. Our goal, like she said, is to be the best. We're going to be NOVA tag team champions.
DF: Thanks ladies.

DF: Best of luck to Grand Justice as they start their journey to being tag team champions. I, for one, expect that to happen sooner than later. This is Danielle Fishel for the NOVA Report. Back to you, Parker.

PP: Indeed, Grand Justice has the true heart and desire to become champions. I too, think that they have the potential to go far in NOVA.
ROC: (snoring loudly)
PP: Would you wake up?
ROC: Oh, I'm awake. I'm just disrespecting them.
PP: At least you're honest about it.
ROC: They are kids. Kids! They need to go back to their room and play with their dolls like good little girls, and leave the violence to the adults. (Renee sits up and points to the camera). Let me give you some advice, girls. In order to make it in this sport you need to be focused. You need to be serious about it. Don't just sit in front of a camera and smile and say how great you think you can be. It's going to get you hurt. You've got girls...no...women out here that are ready to kick your rear ends from one side of the ring to the other. So wipe that grin off your face girls, and take this job seriously.
PP: Wow! Some actual advice from you?
ROC: They need it. They've got as much of a chance in this league as Danielle Fishel does on staying on a diet for more than a day...FAT...CHANCE!
PP: Let's go back to the ring! Sarah Carter versus Renee Olstead already in progress.
ROC: See what I did there? 'Cuz Danielle's fat!
PP: You better be glad I'm under contract not to slap you!
ROC: F-A-T...Fat!